You never know how impactful a moment is until it's over and all you are left with are the memories. It has been three years since I served a term with the Montana Conservation Corps as a field crew member, and I still think about those moments constantly. I joined MCC during a time when I was struggling to decide what to do with my life since I finished college. All I knew was that I had an idea of the type of person I wanted to be, and the way I was living just wasn’t right. Getting accepted as a field crew member made me feel like I was on the right path. I was correct, but it was a struggle to achieve the goals I saw for myself. During that term of service, everything that made me unique was tested… over and over again.
I learnt a lot about myself during the five months I served. I was overly self-conscious of the way my body looked, and I worried about my ability to perform the role I was supposed to. I was dedicated to being a safe person to those I worked with. I hyper-focused on safety. I realized that I deeply feared bears. And during orientation, I learned that I also had a fear of mountain lions. I was forced to face my fears and insecurities. I had to practice patience and find ways to manage conflict. I questioned what I stood for and if the work was worth the pain. I debated quitting several times, but I stuck through it and I’m very happy that I did.
I remember on graduation day, an alumnus said something that has stuck with me to this day, “You have suffered. And you are stronger for it.” I gained skills in areas that I wasn’t expecting and built confidence in areas that I only hoped for since the beginning. And as I look back on those moments, I recall the good ones: all the times my crew drove to the nearby hot springs and drank hot chocolate; blasting lyrics on the radio on the way to trail heads or town; taking extra breaks to feverishly eat huckleberries and whortleberries; and the quiet moments of taking in the gorgeous views.
Being an MCC field crew member helped me move along a path I wanted, and I have stuck to it. I wanted to continue doing what’s right for the environment, so I became a park ranger for two summer seasons. I hiked 700+ miles of the Appalachian Trail because I was confident in my ability to do backcountry camping. And now, I’m back with MCC as a Big Sky Watershed Corps member and have not regretted it since.
