This hitch started off sweet and smooth. Crew Leads Eliza and Aidan were taking out fallen trees off the trail with chainsaws as the rest of us cleared the corridor with loppers and handsaws. We cleared brush around a couple of campsites and on the trail in the wilderness study area, Humbug Spires. 

All of us collectively came into this hitch a bit burnt out, each for our own reasons. The mental effort was our biggest hurdle. This was tested the day we plunged into a trail chock-full of poison ivy. Hard to remember that it is a native plant with an ecological purpose when at least two of us get severe reactions. This was a day that I found my personal breaking point. It does exist, much to my ego's chagrin.

We hiked five miles through the unavoidable, poison ivy-ridden trail. Waves of crushing anxiety, justified paranoia, fear, and utter grumpiness coursed through me. Fight or flight was kicking in like a donkey's hoof to the head. All this revealed a persona I had been playing. This green-collared working man, who thought he'd never back down from a job, who would risk his own health and well-being for the task at hand. That man died. Died like a coward, shaking in his poison ivy-infested boots. 

It was a good death. Good because I realized how fragile I was and that I wasn't invincible like I enjoy believing. After briefly working on this trail, the call was made to evacuate and decontaminate our gear, tools, and ourselves. Tears of relief. I am grateful to my crew leads for making the call, and that the health and safety of the crew always take precedent. 

Thankfully, our project partners were supportive and understanding. We were assigned a new poison ivy-free trail for the remainder of our hitch. Minimal rashes sustained, the last part of this hitch was a struggle when I felt like it should have been a breeze in comparison. Trail maintenance on the Trail Creek Trail. In the heat, caked in dirt, body exhausted, just getting started. In the rain, muddied, weathered, weary. 

We rallied each night around dinner, camping out on the Madison River. We were able to laugh and lift one another up, taking a look at our accomplishments as well as where we fell short. I am grateful for this hitch. It's not exactly what I wanted, but it's the one I needed, though. I feel more honest and authentic. I have grown and learned more about myself on a deeper level. I'm excited to keep growing and learning with the next hitch, but now it's time to help the crew clean the mud off our tools.